Heck, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided to make a bucket list after all. The following are the places I absolutely must see or things I must do before I become stiff, bereft of life, resting in peace, etc. I’ll start with 10 domestic sights. See America First. No particular order.

The peninsula near Finn’s Rear Range Lighthouse in New Jersey that ought to be part of New Jersey but is somehow part of Delaware.

The Martin and Osa Johnson Safari Museum in Chanute, Kansas.

The grave of Wink Martindale. Wait, he’s not dead yet. The grave of any late great game show host would do, then.

The Sopchoppy Worm Gruntin’ Festival in Sopchoppy, Florida.

A meal at the remotest McDonald’s in the nation – by which I mean the one furthest from all the other McDonald’s. This might take some research, so maybe I can just have a sausage-egg-cheese biscuit in a place like Winnemucca, Nevada, and then check it off my list. I want to go to Winnemucca anyway because it’s in the Hank Snow song. Or I could just use the song as my list; already been to a fair number of them.

Mardi Gras in Mobile, Alabama.

All of the public men’s rooms in Grand Central Terminal. (No funny business, just to pee.)

The spot in Wisconsin where 45 degrees N latitude meets 90 degrees W longitude.

Take the 3:10 to Yuma. It probably isn’t possible to take any such public conveyance, so I can start driving to Yuma from somewhere at 3:10 one day.

The Brazilian steakhouse about a mile from my home. Never gotten around it, probably because dinners are fairly expensive. But a lunch special wouldn’t be bad and I bet it’s tasty.