A cap and gown catalog for Ann, a senior this year, came today. Except it’s pretty hard to find an actual cap and gown to order in it, assuming there’s even going to be a need for them this year, considering how cluttered the catalog is with other junk — I mean precious mementos to remind you of your high school years.

Was there this much graduation-related stuff on offer when I was a senior back in the benighted late ’70s? I don’t think so. I did get a class ring. It couldn’t have been that expensive, or my mother wouldn’t have paid for it. But now the prices seem a tad excessive for all but the most basic model made out of some cheap alloy you’ve never heard of.

“These are so ugly,” Ann said, flipping through the catalog. “How can something so ugly cost so much?”

How indeed? The two-tone items especially. The ring variety is staggering: standard high school rings (at least what I think of as standard), bands and signets with an array of stones and many possible engravings — you want a religious symbol or an astrological sign or an animal or a sports/hobby/club emblem or a state outline or maybe even your school mascot on it? No worries.

GEMSTONES says one page, offering various options. In smaller letters above that word, “simulated.” Cut glass, in other words. But real gemstones are also available for considerably more.

Rings are only the beginning. You can also get class of ’21 “senior gear” (clothes), necklaces, key rings, lockets, bracelets and nipple rings. No, I added that last one. Maybe that would be special order.