Words to live by: No home is complete without a rubber chicken. I’m sure Archie McPhee would agree.

Except that he’s a commercial fiction, invented to sell rubber chickens and many other novelty items at a store named Archie McPhee. The place happens to be within walking distance of Lilly and Dan’s apartment in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, so I walked over and took a look the last full day we were in town.

Archie McPhee is in a basic building, whimsically adorned, on N. 45th St., which is the commercial spine of Wallingford, at least part of its way.

As a novelty store, it’s chock-a-block with novelties.

A lot of Bigfoot items. This is the Pacific Northwest, after all.

The store web site lists the following categories to make your shopping easier: Rubber Chickens, Bigfoot, Unicorns, Cats, Hands, Birds, Squirrels, Bacon & Meat, Zombies & Monsters, Pickles, Underpants, J.P. Patches, Creepy Horse Head, Religion.

Hands? Yes. An oddity I had no idea existed.

J.P. Patches? “The J.P. Patches Show aired on KIRO-TV in Seattle from 1958-1981 and broadcast over 10,000 episodes in its 23-year run,” Archie McPhee tells those of us who grew up in other parts of the country.

“Just about every kid who grew up in the Northwest during that time tuned in as Julius Pierpont Patches, Mayor of the City Dump, entertained them with cartoons, sketches and special guests.”

Besides some postcards, I bought a Meditating Bigfoot. Only $4. A store like this needs support from the public.

I didn’t buy a rubber chicken. We have one already, and Lilly specifically asked me not to buy one to leave at her apartment, because she knows how I think.

The star of the shop is naturally rubber chickens, including (I think) what’s called the world’s largest.

Maybe so. But there might be bigger ones in Guangdong Province, what with its centuries of history as a rubber chicken hub. But never mind, Archie McPhee has a Rubber Chicken Museum.

A gimmick, for sure. But it does have rubber chickens of historic interest on display behind protective glass.

With explanatory notes.

So it is a museum of sorts. More than House on the Rock, I think.

“Our owner, Mark Pahlow, started the business selling rubber lizards and other crazy things out of his house in L.A.,” the store says. “He found that people couldn’t get enough of his collectible junk, but he needed space for his company to grow. Risking it all, he packed his entire inventory into a U-Haul truck and headed for Seattle. In 1983 he set up shop with two employees in Seattle’s Fremont district using the name ‘Archie McPhee.’ ”

Eventually, Pahlow needed more novelties than whoever makes them in (say) Guangdong Province could provide, so he started designing his own. Now the company produces as many as 200 new products a year, or at least he did about eight years ago, according to Atlas Obscura, an article worth reading for its tales of the weirdness involved in making and selling weird things.