Category Archives: Food & Beverage

Bear With Me

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“What kind of vegetarian are you, Eyebeam?”

 “I do my best to steer clear of bear meat.”

 Jan. 12, 1994

Today I sat down for a dinner of bear chili. This was my idea. I made it this morning, went off to teach in the afternoon, and came home to it a little while ago. Yuriko’s not home yet, since this is her night class night. The bear meat came in a can – no, came from a bear – anyway, the meat has lately been in a can, sitting on our kitchen shelf since I bought it at Chitose Airport in Hokkaido in October.

Am I contributing to the demise of Hokkaido bears? I don’t know. I do know that there are enough of them to frighten hikers in Hokkaido’s national parks.

2014 Postscript: This article, for one, talks of a lower population of Hokkaido bears because of “hunting and loss of habitat.” I faintly remember the bear meat chili being like chili with beef, only a little greasier.

Santa Has No Mouth, and He Must Say Ho Ho Ho

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I spent a little while looking at this blob, trying to see a conventional Santa in it. It was hard to see. The scan seems to make it a little more representational. Made it’s the lighting.

SortofSantaNo matter. Its purpose wasn’t to be admired visually, but to taste good on the way down.

That got me to thinking — it doesn’t take much to start a tangent — that the next big thing in custom chocolate could be treats based on famed abstract art. That’s the sort of thing that the Sharper Image or SkyMall might sell: Henry Moore milk chocolate shapes or Isamu Noguchi foil-wrapped dark choco Easter bunnies or a Dada Whitman Sampler.

Tuesday Recommendations

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Butter toffee from Guth’s End of the Trail Candy Shoppe in Waupun, Wis., a burg southwest of Fond du Lac. Every year a PR company I’ve long dealt with sends me a box for the holidays. It’s the only time I eat toffee. It’s insanely good. Only a few pieces will make you feel a little queasy, so rich is the confection. But you eat them anyway.

The Man of Bronze. It’s the first Doc Savage novel, and probably the only one I’ll ever read. With genre pulp, that’s usually enough. I have memory fragments of the mid-70s Doc Savage movie I didn’t see – not many people did – so I’m probably remembering the commercials. My friend Kevin recommended Doc Savage as an entertaining read of no consequence, and I’ll go along with that so far. You have to like a yarn that begins with the sentence, “There was death afoot in the darkness.”

Gravity. It’s a really engaging Man Against Nature story, or to be more exact, Woman Against Vacuum. With a one-damn-thing-after-another plot that keeps your attention. Also, worth the extra money to see in 3D, and not too many movies are. In fact, the depiction of space alone is worth the price of admission. A few of the space-science stretchers bothered me a little – I don’t think hopping from spacecraft to spacecraft is quite that straightforward – but not that much. I don’t want exact space science from a movie, just high verisimilitude, and this movie delivers.

Lizard Point Consulting’s geography quizzes. Every now and then, I make Lilly and Ann take some of the easy ones, such as U.S. states or capitals. It’s my opinion that every adult American citizen without cognitive impairment ought to know all of the states.

But I can’t brag about a lot of the other quizzes. It’s clear that my knowledge of, say, French regions is fairly meager, and sad to say I don’t do that well on Japanese prefectures, either – I tend to remember only the ones I’ve been to, plus a scattering of others (like Aomori, where Aomori apples come from, because it’s due south of Hokkaido).

Even quizzes that ought to be easy-ish, such as African nations, have their confusions. Without looking, which one is Swaziland, which one Lesotho? Which is Benin, which one Togo? Which one is Guinea, which one Guinea-Bissau? (That should be easy, Guinea’s bigger.) Similarly, it’s hard to keep track of which –stan is which in Asia, except for Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Kazakstan.

Pizza & Doughnut Run ’84

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Nothing says holiday cheer like pizza and doughnuts. At least, we’re looking pretty cheerful in this picture, preparing to feast on those victuals on a cool December day in San Antonio in 1984. They weren’t just for us, of course. I think.

PizzaDonutDec84High school friends (five years out of high school) Nancy, Tom, and me. My brother Jay might have taken the picture, but I’m not sure.

Man Bites Shark

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Today was of the foggiest days I’ve seen in years. Not enough to make driving impossible, but enough to erase detail in the mid-distance and everything further away. At least it wasn’t cold. They say cold air is massing in the Dakotas and Minnesota for an assault on us soon.

On the menu tonight: shark steak and fruitcake, among other things. Some months ago, I bought the shark at Valli, a fine store I trust not to sell me too much extra mercury with my shark, and it’s been frozen since then. Recently I decided it was about time to eat it, so I thawed it and faced the task of cooking it. But how?

I could have looked it up. In the Joy of Cooking, maybe. Or on YouTube, where a half-dozen Cook Your Shark videos probably await. But no. I wanted to go without expert advice. So I salted the meat a little, heated a bit of olive oil, and cooked it slowly in that. Simple, but effective. It was good.

No one else wanted any. We had other fish on the table, and everyone else ate that. I finally persuaded Lilly to take a bite and she said she liked it, but didn’t eat any more. Maybe I shouldn’t have used that loaded word “shark.” But it isn’t loaded for me. I remember buying shark at a grocery store in California more than 30 years ago, and I’ve eaten it sporadically ever since.

As for the fruitcake, which was my dessert, our Collin Street Bakery fruitcake had arrived over the long weekend. Sometimes around Christmas we buy one, sometimes not.

Not sure why people joke about fruitcakes, but maybe we can blame that on the otherwise admirable Johnny Carson. A bad fruitcake is a bad thing – like anything else – but a good fruitcake is really good. Collin Street fruitcakes, made in Corsicana, Texas, and shipped all over the world, are really good.

Turn 16, Eat Fish

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Back again around December 1. There are things to do and things to eat between now and then. This year we might not bother with a separate Thanksgiving dessert, because a fair amount of Lilly’s birthday cake is still around. I can’t resist a half sheet when the time comes, so it always takes a while to get through it all.

As for the main ingredients of the feast — or really, just a large meal, since it won’t be boisterous enough to rise to the level of a feast — it’ll be some variety of large bird. It will not be expertly prepared raw fish. We had that for Lilly’s birthday meal.

I’m pretty sure that isn’t what I ate when I turned 16. But those were slightly different times.

Halloween ’13

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I can’t remember the last time it rained on Halloween, but today we had a fair amount. It finally slacked off in the late afternoon, and children and others emerged to collect sweets. Not as many as most years, but some. Lilly was out with friends, ignoring my opinion that she’s too old for it.

I took Ann out in the immediate neighborhood while she waited for a friend of hers to show up – they were going to some kind of park district spook-tacular or boo-nanza or something. She reported having fun at that, but I’m glad I didn’t have to take her. A little Halloween goes a long way.

Mostly she collected usual-suspect candies. In no particular order: Hershey bars, Nestle Crunch, Snickers, Kit Kats, Twizzlers, M&Ms, Twix, Tootsie Rolls and Pops, Butterfingers, Milky Ways, Whoppers, Dots, Milk Duds, Dum Dums, Take 5 and Jolly Rancher. There were a few oddities, such as Sour Face Twisters Bubble Gum, product of Mexico, and three flavors of small Tootsie Roll imitators, except they’re brick-shaped rather than rolls – Wild Cherry, Blue Raspberry, and Green Apple chews, all made in Brazil “by Riclan S/A for R.L. Albert & Son.”

A modest amount of looking around tells me Riclan is a confectionery company located in Rio Claro, in São Paulo state. R.L. Albert & Son is located in Stamford, Conn., and seems to specialize in making seasonal candies – or having them made off shore. The manufacturer didn’t short the product on brightly colored food colors, that’s for sure.

We gave away Romeo and Dreemy, two Aldi brands made in Germany. Aldi sells wonderful German chocolates, and those are two: coconut and nougat bars, respectively. I also insisted on giving away Smarties, despite mocking from my offspring. “No one likes Smarties,” Lilly said. “Oh, yeah?” I shot back. “At least a quarter of the people in this house do.”

Smarties and I go back 40+ years. And I’m happy to report that they’re made by the Smarties Candy Co. (until 2011 Ce De Candy Inc.) of New Jersey, not some secretive confectionery behemoth bent on world domination (and they know who they are). The candies are made in only two places. Smarties’ web site says that “Smarties are made 24 hours a day in two candy factories located in Union, New Jersey, and Newmarket, Ontario. The company produces billions of Smarties rolls each year.”

A State-of-the-Art Coupon

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Not long ago, I discovered an inflated tube of Jimmy Dean Pure Pork Sausage in the refrigerator. I’d been down that road before. This time, though, the tube wasn’t at the back of the refrigerator, forgotten past its BEST IF USED BY date. Instead, the use-by date was the next day. This time I opened it up, slightly, and some foul-smelling air hissed out.

I wrote an email to Hillshire Brands, which owns Jimmy Dean, to let them know about the product failure. An automated acknowledgement came at once, then a couple of days later, another email:

Dear Mr. Stribling, [hey, they got the gender right]

It’s Christina from Jimmy Dean.

It is always important to hear from our consumers and we are so glad you sent us an email. Thank you for your loyalty.

We take pride in ensuring our customer’s satisfaction, and exceeding expectations. I am sorry for the disappointment of our mild sausage. We take quality seriously and this is not typical of our products. I have shared your feedback with our plant quality manager. 

We truly value you and via the United States Postal Service, I am more than happy to send you a full value coupon to enjoy the Jimmy Dean product of your choice. Please enjoy and have a fabulous Autumn season!

Regards,

Christina

Two days later I got a paper letter by USPS, expressing more gratitude for my communication, and including a coupon for any Jimmy Dean product – up to a value of $8.49. Not bad. Whatever else you can say about Hillshire Brands, they’ve got a mechanism in place for dealing quickly with consumer complaints.

The coupon itself isn’t like any I’ve ever seen before. The more I looked at it, the stranger it seemed – until I realized that it sports anti-counterfeiting features more commonly found on banknotes. Then again, it is a sort of money, or at least has a monetary value, and at $8.49 max value, not something the company wants reproduced willy-nilly.

All the way across the back of the coupon is a holographic foil strip with the initials “CIC” inside circles all way across. A little digging tells me that CIC is the Coupon Information Corp., a nonprofit of “consumer product manufacturers dedicated to fighting coupon misredemption and fraud,” according to its web site.

“The CIC and its members have worked with Federal, State and local Law Enforcement officials on every significant coupon fraud case since CIC began operations in 1986,” the site continues. “As of this time, CIC has not lost a single case.” We’re Batman, extreme couponers are the Joker.

But that’s not all. There’s a faintly visible pattern everywhere on the back surface of the coupon. It took me a while to figure out that it says VOID over and over. The idea is that when you go to photocopy the thing, a standard-quality printer will blur the lines together and ta-da! VOID is now written all over the coupon in a highly visible way.

Also, there are random patterns of little yellow bubbles printed at two places on the coupon. Or so it seems. As far as I can tell, those bubbles might be a form of EURion constellation, which is “added to help imaging software detect the presence of a banknote in a digital image,” according to Wiki.

Wow. I’ve got myself a hard-core, anti-counterfeiting coupon. I’ll bet more technical prowess went into it than most banknotes produced before, say, 1990.

Oh Yes! (Sweet Potato Creme-Filled Chocolate Cakes)

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There’s a new H Mart not far from where we live – a smaller version of the Korean supermarket in Niles, Ill. It took over space formerly occupied by an independent Asian grocery store (whether that was Korean, I don’t know). I visited the new H Mart over the weekend, and for a discount got some Haitai brand Oh Yes! “Premium Chocolate Coated Sweet Potatoes Filling Cake.”

Oh Yes! A good name. Catchy. Wasn’t that something Molly Bloom said?

I wondered about that sweet potato filling. But for a couple of dollars for 12 cakes, I was willing to give it go. The ingredients are simple: cocoa powder, cocoa mass, white sugar, and sweet potato cream. You get about a third of your DV in saturated fat in each cake, with none of that trans fat. There’s also some carbohydrates in them, but very little else.

Haitai is a South Korean food company, lately owned by Crown Confectionery, another Korean entity. Naturally, I had to look up Haitai’s web site, and found some other product names that I like, all of which look like confections: Baked Potato Stick, Choco Homerun Ball, Bravo Cone, and Babamba.

About Oh Yes!, the web site says (all sic): “Oh Yes! (1984) is our one and only soft chocolate cream cake, which has been on demand for many years due to its soft and delicious taste that melts in your mouth. It is proudly making monthly sales of 4 billions won.”

I liked the Homerun Ball description, too: “The idea of our snack product, Homerun ball, was originated from the Korea Baseball Organization in 1981. It’s unique name was derived from its particular baseball shaped appearance. Homerun ball contains chocolate inside every round ball, and is a easy to-go snack that is great to take out to any event. The Homerun ball is successsfully reaching monthly sales of 4.2 billions won.”

So, a few more Homerun Balls than Oh Yes! cakes sold each month. Anyway, the sweet potato favor does take a little getting used to, if you’re used to regular cream fillings. But the cakes aren’t bad.

Wisconsin Eats

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On our second evening in Wisconsin, I went out to pick up our evening meal. Everyone else knew what they wanted, and so I went to those places, but I didn’t have anything in mind for myself. By chance I came across My Lee’s Egg Roll House at the corner of Franklin and Richmond in Appleton. I followed an impulse to go there, and bought a takeout meal of two large egg rolls with fried rice. I also picked up a roll – mini-loaf? piece? of “longcheng” bread with strawberry filling for snacking on the way back to the motel.

I was the only customer, so I asked the woman behind the counter if she were My Lee. She was, she said in a heavy accent, and hoped that I would enjoy my egg rolls. I learned from an article posted on the wall that she and her husband had opened up the store only last year in a former Batteries Plus location. They are Hmong, originally from Laos (I think). Whatever their back story, I’m happy to report that in Appleton, Wisconsin, in our time they make some fine egg rolls and filled bread.

Harmony Cafe is on College Blvd in Appleton’s business district, created from the joining of two narrow spaces in brick-facade buildings old enough to sport punched tin ceilings. Apparently it’s one of two locations, with the other in Green Bay. Goodwill Industries of North Central Wisconsin runs the place, and benefits from it. That by itself wouldn’t have persuaded me to visit, or even its composting of coffee and food waste or use of fair-trade coffee beans. But I happened to know from my visit last August that the joint has a tasty Cuban pork sandwich, one just about as good as the one I had in Tampa’s Ybor City. It’s still on the menu. Good eats.

On the way home, we stopped at Mars Cheese Castle on I-94 near Kenosha, purveyor of cheese, meat, baked goods, sweets and more. The place has been enlarged since I was last there, and actually looks like the kind of castle a kid would draw.

The place is a roadside institution. Sure enough, it’s in Roadside America, which says: “This mainstay of Cheesehead gastronomy has reopened in a new, more castle-like building only a few feet from its original location, which was bulldozed for an I-94 interchange (the classic sign was saved). Now with real battlements! A real drawbridge! The Castle still has its cocktail lounge, and still sells ‘cow pies’ and udder-shaped coffee mugs — and its iconic roof-mounted cheese-chomping overcaffinated-eyed giant mouse sculpture has been repainted and moved indoors so that people can now pose next to it.”

We got some cheese curds. Made in Wisconsin, of course.