Cybertrucks on the Loose

This was a first in Illinois. Spotted the other day in a northwest suburban parking lot after dark, but even so it stands out.

I’d seen a handful of them before, but not around where I live. Rather, I saw three of these oddities on the road this summer, one in Montana, another in Washington state, and yet another in Wyoming. As those vehicles were moving, and so were we, I didn’t snap any pictures. Tesla Cybertrucks, they are called.

They were all black. Is Tesla taking the Model T approach to color so famously commented on by Mr. Ford himself? (Which isn’t quite true.) If I wanted a pink Cybertruck, which would really stand one, would that be possible? Here’s one aftermarket gold one. Gold-plated, anyway, which seems something like having a gold toilet.

Some tens of thousands of Cybertrucks have been sold, but apparently not quite at the rate Tesla anticipated. Production has slowed for the moment.

MSRP: $82,235 to $102,235, according to Car and Driver. The magazine further has this to say: “Tesla’s otherworldly electric pickup is a mash-up of polarizing styling and bleeding-edge technology that results in surprisingly nice-to-drive hulk of a truck,” which also uses the terms “moonshot tech” and “unique look.”

Polarizing styling, eh? Otherworldly? Unique look, that’s for sure. The magazine is being polite. Even at the low end of the range, that price is madness, especially for a vehicle looking a lot like a car of the future, as drawn by an eight-year-old boy 50 years ago.

Late Fall Fabbrini

Tonight’s weather, per the Weather Underground: Windy with partly cloudy skies. Low 11F. Winds NW at 20 to 30 mph. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 mph.

As early as 6 pm, we were getting gusts, but the temps weren’t as low as they would be later. Regardless of temperature, a good time to stay home and hope your 21st-century infrastructure – and I’m glad to say our heater is this century’s vintage – fails you not. Also, that your trees stand up to the gusts.

The weekend before Thanksgiving, when it wasn’t exactly warm, but warm enough for a stroll around a pond, we went to the always-pleasant Fabbrini Park. I also like that name. I picture one of those giant posters advertising the Great Fabbrini, whose giant face, a mustache a yard long, glares from the poster – a caped, top-hatted box-office draw for Vaudeville. He was in some movies and had a short career in early live TV.

Autumn was winding down that day.Fabbrini Park Fabbrini Park Fabbrini Park

Sustenance for the winter. For some animals, that is.Fabbrini Park

A new crop of small memorials at newly planted trees.Fabbrini Park Fabbrini Park Fabbrini Park

Also on the grounds, pickleball. With a pickleball flag?

Pickleballers?

Now it’s too cold for pickleball, or at least I assume that. Maybe nothing less than a blizzard will stop true p’ballers. More likely, the sport continues in warmer places. For all I know, Sopchoppy, Florida is even now evolving into a major pickleball hub.

Dog, Cat, Ferret, Other

The cat came with some paperwork, including a rabies vaccination certificate. A good thing to have. Looking a little more closely, I noticed that it includes a box for species, which includes Dog, Cat, Ferret and Other. There are enough pet ferrets for them to have their own box?

Apparently so, at least according to the organization that created the form, the National Association of State Public Health Veterinarians (NASPHV), which “helps direct and develop uniform public health procedures involving zoonotic disease in the United States and its territories,” according to its web site.

That made me wonder whether there was an easy way to find a solid estimate of the number of pet ferrets nationwide. Soon that led me to the American Veterinary Medical Association’s page on U.S. pet ownership statistics, which is a short summary of a larger report, the 2024 AVMA Pet Ownership and Demographic Sourcebook. I stuck with the summary, since the report costs actual money I didn’t want to spend on an Internet whim.

Dogs and cats are the prime pets, naturally, with 59.8 million U.S. households owning a dog and 42.2 million owning a cat (45.5 percent and 32.1 percent of total households, respectively). Average annual spending on vet care per household is $580 for dogs and $433 for cats. Interesting.

Under other animals kept as pets, the summary notes that 3.9 million households keep fish, 2.3 million keep reptiles, 2.1 million keep birds and 1.3 million keep small mammals (gerbils, hamsters, etc.), but not counting rabbits, which get their own count: 900,000 households. Ferrets aren’t a separate category, so I assume they are part of that “etc.” The full report might have the numbers, but again, I’m not buying.

A paper dating from 1998 published by the State of California Resources Agency Department of Fish and Game cites an earlier AVMA survey (1996) that found that Americans kept 791,000 ferrets that year, up from 275,000 in 1991, so it looks like the animals were on an upswing in the 1990s in terms of getting free room and board from humans in our part of the world. Other sources say the trend started in the 1980s, which sounds plausible.

A fellow I knew who was still a student at VU the year after I had graduated (1984) kept a ferret in his dorm room, probably against university rules, but anyway he was the first person I ever knew who had one. A few years earlier, a girl I knew in high school snuck a baby Vietnamese pot-bellied pig to school in a box for her friends to see. That was surely was against the rules too, but also another story – and not a very interesting one, since she wasn’t caught and no sitcom-style high jinks were involved.

The Wiki page on ferrets cites the 1996 number, and includes all sorts of other information on the animals, some sourced, some not. Such as:

The name “ferret” is derived from the Latin furittus, meaning “little thief,” a likely reference to the common ferret penchant for secreting away small items.

A male ferret is called a hob; a female ferret is a jill. A spayed female is a sprite, a neutered male is a gib, and a vasectomised male is known as a hoblet… A group of ferrets is known as a “business” or historically as a “busyness.”

As with skunks, ferrets can release their anal gland secretions when startled or scared, but the smell is much less potent and dissipates rapidly. [Essentially a ferret fart, then]

According to phylogenetic studies, the ferret was domesticated from the European polecat (Mustela putorius), and likely descends from a North African lineage of the species… With their long, lean build and inquisitive nature, ferrets are very well equipped for getting down holes and chasing rodents, rabbits and moles out of their burrows.

One more: Ferret-legging. I’m not sure how seriously to take this.

Ferret-legging was an endurance test or stunt in which ferrets were trapped in trousers worn by a participant… it seems to have been popular among coal miners in Yorkshire, England.

That’s it for my not-at-all-comprehensive amount of ferret research, though. I’m content to assume that there are a few million out there, enough to get the attention of the folks at NASPHV. Other questions remain. Will ferret vaccination become a hot-button subject through some weird set of circumstances in our hyperconnected world? Does the (probable) incoming HHS Secretary have an opinion about ferrets? We shall see.

Minnie the Cat

Something new in the house, as of late November 2024.

Ann’s new cat, Minnie, rescued from the mean streets of Normal by an organization that specializes in just that. At about 10 pounds, as quiet as Payton the dog was noisy, at least when the barking mood struck. She seems to like her new residence, spending much of the days doing what cats do.

Twenty-Plus Years of December Firsts

Chilly days over the last week, a slide into winter even before the calendar turned to December. The first of this month now always reminds me of the sizable snow we got that day in 2006, coming as if winter were actually was signified by a particular day. Why that sticks in memory, it’s hard to say. Memory’s an oddity, often as not.

The following are the first paragraphs from postings on December 1, here at my corner of the Internet. If a year isn’t listed, that means I didn’t post that day. By my count, only eight of the 16 postings started with weather, counting one that is a quote from The Sun Also Rises about how good it is to be in a warm bed on a cold night. A few others mentioned some aspect of the holiday season, such as cops chasing a shoplifter with a taste for German Christmas ornaments.

2022: As expected, full winter is here. Not much more to say about that till a blizzard comes. We’re overdue one, at least when it comes to my completely nonscientific feelings on the matter. Not that I want one, just that it’s been a while, and the Old Man might want to let us have it this year.

2021: Ambler’s Texaco Gas Station is on the edge of Dwight, Illinois, not far from the Interstate, and after our short visit on Sunday, Ann and I went further into town, seeking a late lunch. We found it at El Cancun, a Mexican restaurant in the former (current?) Independent Order of Odd Fellows building, dating from 1916. Looks like the orange of the restaurant has been pasted on the less-colorful IOOF structure.

2020: About a month ago, our long-serving toaster oven gave up the mechanical ghost after how many years? No one could remember. Eventually, its heating element refused to heat, so we left it out for the junkmen at the same time as the standard trash, and sure enough it vanished in the night.

2019: December didn’t arrive with a blast of snow, but instead gray skies that gave up rain from time to time, which — by Sunday just after dark — had turned into light snow. In other words, weather like we’ve had much of the time since the Halloween snow fell, followed by the Veterans Day snow.

2016: Someone’s already thought of the Full Griswold. Maybe I’d heard of it before, but I don’t know where. I thought of it this evening driving along, noting the proliferation of Christmas lights in this part of the suburbs. Some displays, of course, are more elaborate than others, but I haven’t seen any Full Griswolds just yet.

2015: Some years, December comes in with the kind of snow we had before Thanksgiving. This year, rain as November ended and December began. El Niño?

2014: After a brief not-cold spell on Saturday and Sunday – I can’t call it warm, but still not bad – it’s winter cold again. Diligent neighbors used the interlude to sting lights on their houses or finishing removing leaves from their lawns. I did no such things.

2013: I took lousy notes during our four weeks in London in December 1994, so I can’t remember exactly when it was we took a day trip to Canterbury. It wasn’t December 1, because that day I saw a revival of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie somewhere in the West End, and after the show the lead actress made an appeal for donations to fund AIDS research, since it was World AIDS Day.

2011: On Saturday, we went to Chicago Premium Outlets, which is actually in Aurora, Illinois, just off I-88. I saw something there I’ve read about, but never seen before: an electric vehicle charging station.

2010: Some years, December 1 means snow. This year, for instance, unlike last year. But not that much; an early breath of winter across the landscape. Just enough to dust the sidewalks and streets, but not cover the grass. As if to say, this is only a taste of things to come, fool.

2009: “Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!” I heard that and when I turned around, caught a glimpse of a Chicago cop running by. I’m pretty sure he had said it. A moment before that I’d entered the German Christmas ornament shop at Kristkindlmarkt [sic] Chicago in Daley Plaza to take a look at the large selection of pretty, and pretty expensive, ornaments. Someone else in the shop said something about chasing a shoplifter, so I left the shop to do a little rubbernecking. Cops chasing a guy beats piles of German Christmas ornaments any day.

2008: “After supper we went up-stairs and smoked and read in bed to keep warm. Once in the night I woke and heard the wind blowing. It felt good to be warm and in bed.”
The Sun Also Rises

2006: We were warned, and sure enough sometime after midnight on December 1, 2006, the clouds opened up, as if to tell us that today is the real beginning of winter, and don’t you forget it. First came sleet, then snow. It was still snowing at 6:30 in the morning when I got a call telling me that Lilly had no school. By about 10, it had stopped. We’d had about a foot of snow, judging by my unscientific eyeballing.

2005: Back in the late ’80s, one of the perks of my job at a publishing company was a real-time connection to the AP wire at our workstations. Stories queued up in the order they were published electronically, newer ones pushing older ones down toward the bottom. The interface was simple: green characters, no graphics, no hyperlinks.

2004: I read in the papers that tonight’s airing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer represents the show’s 40th anniversary, making it nearly as old as me. I have a sneaking feeling it will be more durable than me, playing for a good many more decades before it finally peters out, but that isn’t because I like it. No, I never cared for it.

2003: Time to start this thing again, before the wheels completely rust up. December 1st is a good day to do it, too, being the start of meteorological winter. No need to wait around for the solstice around here, since it’s pretty cold just about every day now. What better definition of winter do you need?

Thursday Leftovers

Sure enough, a dusting of snow stuck overnight. It won’t last, but what does?

Regards for Thanksgiving. Back to posting around December 1, which can claim to be the start of winter, in as much as a single day can.

The figgy pudding Yuriko made on Sunday. Much of it is gone now, but Ann will be able to sample it when she’s back for the holiday. Bet she’ll be glad for the opportunity.

A stone at Graceland Cemetery last Sunday.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

No name on it, except “Asano,” which I take to mean this is a work of Hiroyuki Asano, not a stone memorializing him, since he still seems to be alive. Maybe he’s planning ahead for his presence in Graceland, which I believe in the undertaker biz would count as “preneed.” (Pre-need?)

Or it could be a memorial for someone who didn’t want their name on it. That’s unusual, but not unknown: Erma Bombeck’s boulder in Dayton comes to mind. Or, the person who commissioned Asano’s piece at Graceland is also still alive, details to be added later.

John Welborn Root, Chicago architect (d. 1891). Forgot to post him.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

In my efforts to see stones for well-known people, I also almost forgot to take a look at more ordinary folk. Almost, but not quite.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, ChicagoGraceland Cemetery, Chicago

FamilySearch tells me (footnote numbers removed; but there were eight of them for a single paragraph) about the 161 Depot Brigade. It also features the unit patch, which is to the right.

Secretary of War Newton Baker authorized Major General Samuel Sturgis to organize the 161 Depot Brigade, an element of the 87th Division (National Army). It was later detached and placed directly under Camp Pike, Arkansas, as an independent unit.

The brigade filled two purposes: one was to train replacements for the American Expeditionary Forces (AEF); the other was to act as a receiving unit for men sent to camps by local draft boards. During most of 1918, the brigade was commanded by Brigadier General Frederick B. Shaw.

A different sort of memorial, in a different place – a nearby park that we visit often. We’d noticed Jake “The Snake” Popp’s bench before. Looks like people who remember The Snake fondly decorated his bench for the fall.

In the same park, a lamppost, ready to do its job.

On the post, a sign says it is a product of Traditional Concrete Inc., of Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin. Guess that name stresses the long-lasting — and traditional — material that goes into the company’s product, which is fine. But if I started a lamppost company, it would be Fiat Lux Inc.

Winter Preview

We’re at the front edge of the first winterish event since last spring. A pretty mild event, as November tends to dish out. Come to think of it, winterish is one of the kinds of days you get in November, with others including gray and damp, and ones that are more pleasant than expected. Sunday was one of those latter kind, an excellent day for a cemetery stroll.

Today and tomorrow (11/20-21) amounts to a mild winter preview. The graph to the right barely needs values, since it captures the downward slide well enough without them. Still, the straight blue line is freezing: 32° F., with the gray lines marking 10-degree differences. Red line: Temps. Green line: Dew point. Purple line: “Feels like.”

Dew point is one of those concepts that I need to look up whenever I think about it, which isn’t that often. It’s not as if anyone will ever say to you, “How about that dew point last night? Man!”

Still, it’s good to know things, but for whatever reason, some things have little traction for me when it comes to being remembered or understood; and dew point is one of those. Just another small reason I’m not a scientist.

This afternoon the wind was brisk and some light snow fell. Nothing serious enough to interfere with errands. One of those took me to the vicinity of the Schaumburg Township Library. There has been a vacant lot across the street from the library for as long as I’ve known about the spot – more than 20 years. Signs have come and gone, promising this or that development, then nothing.

Now something has appeared. Or is in the process of appearing, via new construction.

Hopscotch Beer, Bar and Kitchen. A little looking around makes me think it’s not part of a chain. Usually that’s easy enough to find out. This place doesn’t seem to be affiliated with HopScotch Beer and Whiskey Bar in Franklin Park, just south of O’Hare, which still has a Facebook page but seems otherwise to be defunct. Or related to a standalone place called Hopscotch Kitchen & Bar in Oklahoma City, which seems to be in business.

The Facebook page of Level Construction, which is building the site in Schaumburg, says the restaurant will feature “a vibrant gaming area ?, an energetic dance floor ?? and indoor golfing and sports simulators ⛳?.” It included exactly those emojis.

Emojis are no extra charge, I hope.

Graceland Cemetery: The Stones

No point in burying the lead (haw, haw): among all the memorials at Graceland Cemetery in Chicago, Dexter Graves’ stone surely gets the most attention. For one thing, it stands out at a distance.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Safe to say that the memorial, especially a haunting bronze figure called “Eternal Silence,” is better known than Dexter Graves himself. Graves was a Chicago pioneer, settling in the area in 1833, when the place was little more than a marshy spot near the Chicago River. He died in 1845, with reinternment and the memorial coming much later at the behest of an elderly son of his, who is buried there too – in 1909, by which time Chicago was a vast metropolis that probably would have astonished Graves.

Lorado Taft created the sculpture, and while I made images of it standing alone, soon a small group of French tourists came by for a look, including posing with it for pictures. Since the work is near the cemetery’s only entrance, I came back again before I left for another look, and that time an American couple, about my age, were there. The woman asked me whether I’d also seen “Fountain of Time” down in the Hyde Park neighborhood. Happily, I was able to tell her I had, including the quote that goes with it, “Time stays, we go.”

I also recommended “The Eternal Indian,” out in Ogle County, which she said she hadn’t seen. I forgot to mention – it would have been showing off anyway – seeing his “Alma Mater” in Champaign, the memorial he worked on in Mount Carroll, Illinois, his sculptures in the Fern Room of the Garfield Park Conservatory or the Fountain of the Great Lakes at the Art Institute. That’s just a scattering. To see more of Taft’s work, you have to pay attention elsewhere in Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky (in Paducah, I wasn’t paying attention), Washington, DC, Colorado, Michigan, Louisiana, Pennsylvania, Kansas and probably other places.

Also, you can see “The Crusader,” which is Graceland, marking the grave of Victor Lawson (d. 1925), one-time publisher of the Chicago Daily News. Lorado Taft did that too, though later in his career, 1931.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

When was the last time a newspaper crusaded about anything? Not recently, private equity owners don’t like it.

Assorted business tycoons, moguls and robber barons repose in Graceland, without a cent to their names these days. But in their day, they or their immediate heirs had big bucks to spend on big memorials. None is bigger than retailer and hotelier Potter Palmer (d. 1902).Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

That kind of dough will also buy you a picturesque waterfront location.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

I have to say the Palmer tomb is quite a presence, standing out even among many other large tombs, of which there are many. Such as that for George Pullman.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

The pyramid of 19th-century beermaker Peter Schoenhofen.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Others.Graceland Cemetery Graceland Cemetery Graceland Cemetery
Graceland Cemetery

The cemetery’s stone- and metalwork curls and is otherwise shaped in ways remarkable to see. How can these hard materials be persuaded to take those shapes? By the rare skill of the artisans, as long gone as the captains of industry inside the tombs.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

A small building stands near the entrance of Graceland, including a patio with iron tables and chairs, a few of which were occupied when I visited, since the day was just warm enough for that. Inside the building, heated this time of year, visitors can rest on a bench, go to the bathroom, watch a video about the cemetery and, just as important, pick up a free paper map that guides you to the graves of some (but hardly all) of the well-known permanent residents.

Not every grand cemetery has that amenity, but when you find one, that ups the visit into a kind of treasure hunt, if you want. A look for the famed stones, like at Hollywood Forever in Los Angeles with its movie stars or Forest Home in Milwaukee with its brewers. My idea of a good time, but I’m eccentric that way. Besides some of the stones mentioned above, the map takes you to lumber baron and Goodman Theatre patron William Goodman.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

And Mr. Whipple.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

He’s not actually on the map, probably because the memorial isn’t for the person obsessed with toilet paper, since he was fictional. Even so, I understand he received treatment for his OCD, retired from the grocery business and lived with his daughter in Florida until his death in 2007.

MLB star Ernie Banks, “Mr. Cub,” and the first black player for the Cubs. Nearby is dancer Ruth Page.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Minnie Miñoso, a fairly recent stone. In fact, I read that it was erected only this summer. Graceland is still an active cemetery, with more open land than I would have thought.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

I had to look him up; among other things, he was the first black player for the White Sox. The Cuban Comet, he was called, which sounds like something invented by a sports reporter pounding print on his old typewriter.

Heavyweight prizefighter Jack Johnson, the Galveston Giant, famed for upsetting racists in the early 20th century.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

The small pyramid of architectural photographer and preservationist Richard Nickel, a favorite of mine in Chicago history.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Gov. John Peter Altgeld, another favorite but from Illinois history, who knew that pardoning the surviving men convicted in the Haymarket bombing would probably cost him the governorship, as indeed it likely did. It was that or preside over a miscarriage of justice, he believed.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Chicago is a city of architects; Graceland is a necropolis of architects. I didn’t see them all – missed Burnham on his island, for example – but I got a good sample.

Including Mies van der Rohe. For him, a flat black spare Miesian sort of memorial.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

But he has a splendid view.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

William LeBaron Jenny.William LeBaron Jenny

Bruce Goff.Bruce Goff grave

Louis Sullivan.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Talk about teasing a rarefied shape out of base metal. In this case, the work’s designer at least is known: Thomas Tallmadge (d. 1940), who is also at Graceland.

Graceland Cemetery: The Color

On Sunday Yuriko was at her occasional cake class creating some figgy pudding. That’s what I’m calling it, since fig is the star ingredient, along with cinnamon and nutmeg and other spices. I’m also calling it oishi, Japanese for delicious, a word we use a fair amount.

There is no Spam in the recipe, however. Just as well.

Class is in the city, and I am chauffeur on such days, driving to the Humboldt Park neighborhood. The benefit for me: I get to spend a few hours in Chicago. This time I used the time to visit Graceland Cemetery on the North Side, accessed by bus and then the CTA Red Line.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

More color than I expected. The leaves are a little late in falling this year.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

What can it signify? Natural variation in timing? A hint of climate woes? I can’t claim to be smart enough to know, but I do know that my hour-plus stroll benefited from the unexpected late colors. Graceland is a queen among cemeteries for its beauty, so any season will offer a display worthy of that status. Still, fall is special.

As an arboretum, Graceland has over 2,000 trees and scores of species.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

In Chicago, as well as other major cities in America and Europe, cemeteries predated city parks as sites for pastoral strolls and quiet contemplation,” notes Chicago Garden: The Early History.Thomas B. Bryan, a wealthy Chicago businessman and avid horticulturist, was the major force behind the creation of Graceland in 1860. Along with other investors [he] formed the Graceland Cemetery Company.

“Graceland’s location was ideal: readily accessible from Green Bay Road (now Clark Street) and later the Chicago and Evanston Railroad, yet far enough removed from the city to avoid health and sanitation issues. The company chose the high ridge area along what is now Clark Street, which was once an old Indian trail… In the sandy soil here, plants thrive better than in Chicago’s typical clay soil.”Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

Water views. The map calls it Lake Willowmere.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

An ivy-covered stone. Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

That can’t be an accident of nature, since the standard of lawn care is clearly pretty high at Graceland. Could be the Simons wanted it that way. Or still do. Anyway, the leaves are changing.

Coyote, looks like. Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

I didn’t get very close, but close enough, and he seemed nonchalant about being around humans. He just wandered on by. Urban Coyote: there’s an animation project in that for someone.

Color is good, of course. So is monochrome.Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago Graceland Cemetery, Chicago

In our time and place, cemetery tourism isn’t much practiced. At many cemeteries, I’m the only living person around, except maybe for grounds keepers. Graceland stood out from most in that way. I saw maybe two dozen or so other visitors, including bike riders, dog walkers and a handful doing what I was doing: wandering the 121-acre grounds, taking it in.

We Decide Who’s Naughty or Nice

Saw some houses in our neighborhood this week with lighted Christmas lights. To that I say, no. Sure, put them up when it’s still fairly warm – as it was today, touching 60° F. But don’t light them. How about waiting until the feast of St. Lucia on December 13? That’s a festival of light, after all.

I’m sure that idea would go nowhere. The response to anyone suggesting it, at least here in North America, would be, eh? Who’s that?

Never mind, Christmas is on its way. Some places light up even earlier, and retailers have been at it for a while now. Sometimes that means oddities.

Spotted the other day on a retail shelf. Careful, though: Not intended for highway use, unless you want to scatter elf limbs on the Interstate.

I’d heard of Elf on the Shelf, which makes the joke (mildly) funny, but didn’t actually know that much about it. Turns out the Elf isn’t that old, invented less than 20 years ago. To look at the thing, you’d think it was devised by ad men of the 1920s, as so much consumer culture was.

It also turns out that they are spies for Santa. Ho ho ho. That’s awfully granular of Old St. Nick. Of course, he has a big job to do, making that list. Here’s another idea: Stasi on the Shelf.