The Web of Things

Driving along today, I saw Halloween decorations for the first time this year: a large pretend spider web stretching from the ground to the roof of a one-story house. Or many it wasn’t pretend. I wondered out loud – Lilly was in the car – what you could catch with a web that size. Maybe some birds, or squirrels, or people out giving away copies of The Watchtower.

That just goes to show people spend their money on the oddest things, unless the web was homemade by giant arachnids in the house (in that case, stay away, children). Then again, not long ago I found a trove of 8.25 in. x 3.5 in. postcards in a resale shop bin, and I paid 25 cents each for them. I suspect few cards that size, if any, are made any more. But more importantly, they remind me of childhood trips. They weren’t that hard to find 40-plus years ago, and take home as souvenirs.

I’ve already mailed some of them to Ed, a collector of hotel/motel cards, but I still have a few, such as a Howard Johnson’s card from Silver Springs, Fla. We never stayed at that particular one, but the brand has early, and pleasant, associations for me, along with Holiday Inn, Rodeway Inn, and maybe a few others, though we often stayed at independents.

Skeletons in the Big Box

Yesterday I was wandering the aisles of a major warehouse store when I noticed a life-sized model of a human skeleton hanging at one of the endcaps. I had to investigate further. Turns out it was a bit of Halloween decoration for sale, along with some other items. Halloween?

I took a closer look. The quality was high, or so I imagined, not having spent much time with actual human bones, other than the ones hidden within our fleshy selves. Lilly was with me, and I said it was too good just to take out on Halloween. Better yet, we could get one and put it in a closet most of the year. That’s where skeletons should be, right?

— Or, I continued as we walked away, we can take one with us on our next road trip, and hang it in the motel closet. That should give the cleaning staff something to talk about.

— Are you really considering that? she asked.

— No, they might freak out and call the cops. Anyway, I forgot to check the price. But it’s probably too much just to spend on a joke. And we don’t have enough closet space.

Later I wondered, do other languages have a similar idiom to a skeleton in the closet, or is it peculiar to English? I was going to look into that, but I didn’t get any further than Skeletons in the Closet, the LA County Coroner’s Office Online Store. I found myself looking at it and thinking, is this for real? Does the LA County Coroner actually sell – or benefit from the sale of — clothing, cups, hats, key chains, magnets and the like? Looks like it.